Unicorns Against Bush

We, the Unicorns of America, are very heartfully dedicated to ousting George W. Bush from the White House. He is an evil, derisive man whose very visage turns our stomachs. As you can imagine, as unicorns, we are anything but acclimated to this constant disgust, and we believe that electing John Kerry in November will allow us to return to the very happy, magical state to which we are accustomed. We will not rest until George W. Bush is no longer the President of the United States.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Can Yo Be a Soccer Mom? Hell NO!

Originally uploaded by Sparkles.
Hola amigos.

Yo have a muy important posto hoy. Yo have read the mean-spirited commentos on my last posto, and this is why Yo have not made another. Yo was thinking.

Primero, Yo would like to state the obviouso. Don't accuse Sparkles or anyone else of writing my postos, because Yo am the solo autor of my own postos. Yo am not some fucking co-autoring Paris Hilton!

Secondo Charlie y Brandon, if mi postos are "counterproductive," they are solo so because of your narrow world-view. Like El George, you have proven yourself incapable of viewing or experiencing other culturos outside of the very narrow lens with which your culturo provided you. Que is wrong with enjoying Taco Bell, immigrating on a raft, or driving an El Camino? Que is wrong with mi heritage except that it is different than yours!

Perhaps you two can better explain to Yo how Yo can be just like you. Perhaps Yo can have premium cable and not make Maria hold the aluminum foil up to the rabbit ears, huh? Perhaps Yo can drive mi SUV to pick up mis ninos at soccer practice instead of letting them walk the several milos to the laundromat? Perhaps Yo can habla about how well "American Beauty" criticized contemporary life instead of watching the George Lopez sitcom, huh?

Well, FUCK YOU. Yo no want to do those things. Yo believe that the USA is a place for diversidad, and Yo believe that to achieve this diversidad which at the moment hangs in the balance (no gracias to you Charlie y Brandon), Yo must vote for el John Kerry and get those white, suburban, assimilationist conos out of the White House.

Yo got a bit worked up. Lo siento. But Yo believe that Mikey might have a thing or two to say about this, so Yo am signing off for now.


  • At October 12, 2004 at 9:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At October 12, 2004 at 7:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    A Lil' Sambo Unicorn?

    Please! Everyone knows unicorns are white (or, at the very least, a pretty pastel colour).

  • At October 13, 2004 at 7:54 AM, Blogger Unicorns Against Bush said…

    I don't know why you think it is funny, or at all okay, for you to write such stupid crap. Why stop with Camio driving, Taco Bell loving Pablo? Come on, introduce us to Lil' Sambo Unicorn.

    Maybe you think it is all right as a rich, white kid to say such things. I, on the other hand, think that's exactly why you don't have that right, why you should be a little more sensitive with regards to what comes out of that mouth of yours. And I think you know very well why what you are saying, why Pablo is offensive, why your patronizing humor sucks. Maybe though, you are justifying it the way every other juvenile twit does by cloaking it in irony. If you are being ironic it must be okay, right? But how many layers do we have to peel back for you to actually say something true, sincere?


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